The Most Important Skill You’re Not Training
What do losing weight, advancing your career, and running a marathon all have in common? They each require making decisions that prioritize long-term goals over short-term pleasures. This ability goes by many names: willpower, self-discipline, grit, and so on. Whatever you call it, it is 100% absolutely, no doubt in our freaking minds, the most important skill you're not training.
Want to lose weight? You’ll need to resist those tempting donuts in the break room.
Chasing that promotion? You’ll have to work late when you're tempted by happy hour with friends.
Dreaming of running a four-hour marathon? That means early morning runs instead of hitting the snooze button.
Let’s break it down in simple terms and look at how willpower impacts our lives with a quick example.
The Tale of Two Dad Bods
According to Psychology Today, some studies suggest humans make a staggering 35,000 choices a day! To simplify, let’s assume people make 100 decisions per day that directly relate to their goals—decisions that either positively or negatively impact those goals.
Now, imagine two people. First up is Alex, a 35-year-old who recently acquired a "dad bod" and wants to run a marathon. Our second imaginary friend is Stuart. Coincidentally, Stuart also has a recently acquired dad bod and shares the same goal—to run a marathon.
Dad bods and goals are where the similarities between our two friends end. Alex is stuck in his comfort zone. While he wants to run a marathon, he keeps pushing off training to the forgotten land of "tomorrow." He’s content lying on the couch after work, watching TV and eating his favorite snacks. But deep down, he feels frustrated that his actions aren’t matching his goals.
Stuart, on the other hand, understands that willpower is a trainable skill. He purposefully starts pushing himself outside his comfort zone on a daily basis. Taking the stairs at work? He’s stepping up (pun intended). Running early in the morning? Consider it done. Volunteering for projects at work when he’d rather stay silent and fly under the radar? He’s doing that too. All of these activities force Stuart outside his comfort zone, and when he does, something magical happens. The regions of his brain responsible for self-discipline get stronger. He starts to get better at overcoming that internal resistance we feel when it comes to stepping outside our comfort zone. As a result, he begins making better choices every day.
Time for Some Quick Math
Now, let’s go back to those 100 goal-related choices mentioned earlier. Alex and Stuart both make 100 decisions per day that could either positively or negatively impact their goal of running a marathon. These choices could include decisions to eat something healthy, drink water, use their standing desk, stretch, or go for a run.
Alex, the comfortable yet frustrated individual, isn’t training his willpower. As a result, he makes the right, often difficult, choice only 40% of the time. This means he makes 40 good choices and 60 bad choices a day.
Stuart, however, actively trains his willpower by seeking out daily challenges. Thanks to this, he makes the right, often difficult, choice 70% of the time. This translates to 70 good choices and 30 bad ones each day.
Over the course of a month (30 days), Stuart makes 2,100 positive choices, compared to Alex’s 1,200.
Who do you think is going to reach their goal of running a marathon first?
The difference is clear. If you’re serious about achieving your goals, no matter what they are, you need to train your willpower. Think of it as a muscle—you need to consistently exercise it.
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